Flowing Through the Quiet

Mood : 6/10

Lately, I’ve been trying something new—something simple, yet profound. I’m learning not to be perfect. Not to strive for flawless moments or outcomes, but just to be. I’ve been telling myself that I want this blogging journey to last, not just be a fleeting burst of energy. I want to do this consistently, authentically, and in my own time. And that means letting go of the pressure to always be on top of my content, to always be striving for the “best” idea or the perfect angle. It’s about letting go of perfectionism and letting myself live without that stress.

Right now, my mental space feels flowy—some days there’s a light, warm sunshine, and other days, there’s a bit of gloom. It’s not dark, but it’s a quiet, in-between feeling. I’m still doing the day-to-day things, but I’m not pushing myself to do more than I can handle. The key has been gentleness. I’ve come to realize that I’m just human. I don’t need to do everything perfectly. The most important thing? Just keep going.

These days, I’m trying to be productive, but I’m not forcing it. Some days I’m in the mood to watch YouTube for hours; other days, I get an urge to organize my Kindle with books I’ve been meaning to read for months. Sometimes, I just want to chill and watch movies without any expectation of “productivity.” I used to struggle with this—the need to always be doing something meaningful. But I’ve stopped putting pressure on myself, especially when it comes to cleaning. Sometimes, I’ll have the sudden urge to clean the toilet floor, and I’ll do it with earnestness, feeling good afterward. It’s all part of the flow.

Interestingly, I recently bought a projector, and now I’ve been enjoying quiet, peaceful nights laying in bed watching my favorite YouTube channels on a big wall. The silence, the comfort, the peace—it’s something small but so meaningful. It’s these moments that remind me to just be present and not crave perfection or productivity.

Emotionally, I do find myself craving more creative ideas. My mind feels a bit stuck, and I can’t seem to come up with the creative flow I used to. I love writing and creating, but these days I’ve been focusing more on vlogging, capturing my daily life. It’s been great to get back into that rhythm, but I think that shift has left my writing a little quieter.

I don’t feel guilty about not writing—just a little stuck. The words are there, just waiting for the right moment to come out. I know that creativity isn’t a constant, and sometimes it’s okay to just breathe and let things come in their own time. And putting these thoughts into words right now? It feels like a release. A small but necessary step into opening up my mind again.

Lately, I’ve been reading more. I just finished Promising Young Woman and started All Fours, and I also bought five physical books. That feeling of holding something real, tangible, feels good. I wish I could read more, because the more I read, the more I know I’ll be able to write.

So here I am—no rush, no pressure. Just letting my thoughts flow, and allowing myself the space to just be. Maybe that’s all I really need right now.