A Pause at 2.44am
How does it feel to live out there? I’m feeling something tonight, but I don’t know what it’s called. An itch, maybe. Or an urge. Or hollow. Or maybe space? One second it makes me feel like I want to cry. Another second makes me feel anxious. The next second makes me feel very, very void. Other seconds it makes me feel the world from afar and feel the vastness but immobile, as if I’m seeing life happening around me but I’m there — sitting, feeling, being out from it. Detached. As if I couldn’t feel the breeze, the air, the mist, the cold, the temperature, and the sound is far… tiny and afar. The thing is, I want it. I want to be out there. To feel life. To taste life. To touch life. I want it. I really do. Awake at 2.44am, thinking of what life could be right now if I’m out there, while knowing tomorrow is Monday and I have to wake up to go to work… for the last week of my career. I don’t know what to describe. A waiting? A hold? A jump? A pause? Is that what this is — a pause? I’m on ...
