Dad,

I know, growing up, 

I was never a good daughter. 

I made mistakes, 

Countless of it. 

I choose bad decisions, 

Countless of it. 

I hurt you, 

Countless of it.

But

Dad

Were you proud of me?

When I once become what you hope for

When I once become the successful daughter

When I once become the daughter that you need

When I once become agreeable with you

When I once

Countlessly

Choosing you

And keep choosing you

Over time

And time.

Were you proud of me?

Or

Was I a shame for you

Because I didn't grow up becomes a daughter that you want

Was I a disappointment for you

Because I didn't choose my life like how you hope

Was I a pain for you

Because I didn't become the mold that you created

Was I a disgrace for you

Because I couldn't see the world as how you do

Dad

Is it hard to become a father

Dad

Is it hard to have a daughter like me

Dad

Was it hard

To choose to love me

To choose to see me

To choose your daughter

Was it that hard

Dad?

Was I a burden to you

Was I the impossible for you

Was I the unreachable to you

Dad..?

Am I that hard to be loved

Am I that hard to be seen

Am I that hard to be touch

Am I that hard to be live

That you have to go

Before you tried?

Dad..

Am I a sinner

To you?