her, thorn, and cocoon

once, there was a person that have nothing between her and the world. loves comes unto her arms. she decided to grow it. until one day the loves grows and grows and grows. but without her realisation, the loves have grows thorn from it. but she wants to keep growing it, care for it. and she cares for it for too much that the pain from being nick with the thorns felt pleasant, felt reassuring, that she do the right thing. to keep growing thing that once she thought need cared for.

until one day, the thorn that she been unknowingly endured, stab her. stab at her heart. the core of her very soul. she endure it for awhile. trying to pull the thorn out of her while still carrying that love on her arms. 

no one was with her at that time. at the whole time. it was just her. 

she bleed, and bleed, and bleed, until she felt her body becomes too light. the blood has drain out of her for too much. as much as she wants to keep caring for the love, she couldnt keep herself alive. she was super frustrated because all she wants was to just trying to take care of love.

but her own self is drowning from her own blood. 

love then be out from her arms. and she walk. she took many steps away from it. while her eyes keeps looking at love. that love that she have to put down. every step she took, her eyes never budge. always looking at love. even from afar. 

with some distance that she felt unbearable, she finally felt safe again. then she sits. 

and when she sits, she create her own cocoon with every inch of energy she have left. 

and then, she start to tender on the thorn that was left stab inside her heart. that keeps flowing blood. 

she finally get the thorn out of her. she really did.

but she never throw that thorn away. it always by her side. once in a while she kept looking at that thorn. as if that thorn symbolise something. something that grows from what she onces cared for. 

since she had built her cocoon, she cant see the love out from her cocoon anymore. the only thing left she could see that represent that love, is that thorn. sitting by her side. the one that she painfully removes it from her heart. its there. always there. together with her. in her cocoon. 

weird enough, she never look at the wound on her, left by that thorn very much. sure, she feels it once in a while. the stings. but she feels more attach to that thorn rather than to wonder if her wound has heal properly or not. 

weird..

but that how she is. 

one thing you should know. she is not living out there again anymore. even after she tend her wound and removes the thorn from herself. 

love is living out there. living its best life. 

but her?

she stay in her cocoon. 

cocoon that seems like roots of trees. turns into a dome around her. there is no door. no entry. no exit. not even sunlight can peek through. 

she is there. alone. with the thorn.