I Guess That’s Why People Glance

I guess that’s why people glance.

Not because I’m trying to look good. Not because I dress up or walk like a model.

They glance because… maybe there’s something in me that feels calm. Like I’m not trying too hard. Like I just… exist. In my own way.

Growing up, I never hated my curls. I’ve always loved my natural wave. People around me used to rebond their hair — straight, flat, sleek, like that was the standard. And so many tried to convince me to do the same. But I never liked it. I didn’t want straight hair. I didn’t want to do anything permanent to my hair. I liked what I had. People go and try to create this wavy curl effect — and I was born with it. And I still love it. My hair is part of me. I never needed it to be anything else.

Same with my lashes. I used to think there was something wrong with mine. Mascara always made them too long, too much. I couldn’t wear it properly because it felt dramatic. But over time, people started noticing. Friends. Strangers. They’d tell me my lashes were long. And I realised oh… maybe this is something other people try to get. Maybe mine aren’t weird. Maybe they’re just naturally long.

And my brows… I miss doing them sometimes. Back before I went semi-permanent. People loved watching me do it. They’d say it looked perfect. But honestly, it was just easy because the shape is already there. I never had to reshape. I just followed what was already mine. It took me less than a minute. I’d be done before some people could even find their brow pencil.

My teeth too. People always assume I wore braces. But I never did. Not even once. They’re just naturally straight. I brush. I floss. That’s it. Even my teachers used to get confused. Same with my nails — always looked like I had a French manicure. White tips by default. I’ve gotten scolded for it before. They thought I was breaking school rules, but really, I didn’t do anything. My nails just grow that way.

Of course… I have parts of me I don’t like too. I’ve always been the chubby girl. My fingers are short. I have cup nails, not glass ones. My boobs feel too big. I have insecurities. I’m not walking around thinking I’m perfect. But I still love myself. Truly. And that love feels stronger now — now that I’m not living to impress anymore. I’m living to live. To live the life I created for myself. Not anyone else.

There’s so many things I’ve learned to appreciate over time. Like the fact that I don’t need to shave often — only once every few months. I barely have armpit hair. I don’t have arm hair. No body acne. No back acne. Not even on my butt. And those things might sound small, but they matter to me. Because they’re real. And they’re mine.

Recently, I started giving my scalp and hair the attention it always deserved. I found out my scalp was way too oily — like, really oily. The kind that clogs your follicles and blocks new hair from growing. No wonder every hair tonic I tried before never worked. It wasn’t the products. It was the fact that my scalp was too overwhelmed to even receive it.

I decided to do something about it. I started treatment at Yun Nam. I committed. I changed my routines. No more wet hair. No more skipping care. I bought proper towels. I started blow-drying. I cleaned my pillowcases more often. I’m treating my hair like it matters now. Because it does.

And you know what? Just two and a half weeks in, I already saw changes. My scalp isn’t getting as oily as fast. I didn’t even shampoo this morning because I woke up late — and my hair still looked fine. I sprayed a little airy mist and it felt light, soft, and fresh. Before this, even skipping one wash would’ve made me feel gross. Now? My hair feels like it's healing. Like it can finally breathe. And I feel that too — like I’m healing alongside it.

I’m still learning. Still healing. Still growing into this body that has held me through everything. And honestly? I love it. I love how it’s been kind to me. And now I’m learning how to be kind back.

I think that’s what beauty really is. Not what people see outside. Yes, you can do treatments. You can pay thousands to feel better. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But the part of you that shines the most… no one can buy that. No one can build it for you. It comes from inside. From how you carry yourself. From how you grow. From the way you choose to live.

And even if you grew up in a hard place, even if you had to fight through everything — that doesn’t mean you’ll turn out bitter. It doesn’t mean you’ll break. Sometimes, the harshest start gives you the clearest heart. And that? That becomes your biggest gift.

People might not know why they glance.

But I think I do now.